What’s a brother to do when his unwed sister tells me she’s going on a week’s vacation with her boyfriend? I know they’ll be sleeping together, and sex? Ewww! That image is almost worse than imagining Mom doing that. Think of it. A man actually thinks my sister is attractive! Sexy?
Come on. How could my playmate, who dug up worms and actually bit into one to see how it tasted, be sexy? It’s time to check the dictionary definition. Before that’s accomplished she announces she’s actually going to marry and leave home with the guy. I surmise he must be a desperately lonely man.
Then, of all things, one day she excitedly dashes into our house exclaiming she’s pregnant. Oh, my God! It had to be immaculate conception. How else could my sister get pregnant? And, if it is true, I can’t imagine being her child. Poor thing. Sis will be so protective. I can see her now, reading through that voluminous diary of hers, recalling all of her childhood mischief to ensure her child never does the same.
I guess it’s left to me to be the truth-sayer, and tell the child how lucky it is to have me as an Uncle. Then I suppose this new uncle, (I can’t believe she had the right to change my name to “Uncle”) will have to take the child down the trail of fun, fits, and foolishness. If my sister won’t do it, I guess it’s up to me to ensure her child grows up normal, like we did.